May 16th
Quote of the Day

I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing. 
Anais Nin

I've been trying to decipher my feelings lately. Understand where these things come from, how they morph from one thing to another as hours or days change. I've been analyzing, thinking, breaking down..I a lot of times frustrate myself by getting stuck in how things should be and how they should turn out. What needs to happen now in order for this or that to happen as a result, so that things go as planned and turn out the way they're supposed to. Supposedly.
I think what my state of being could be called is constant over analysis. Maybe its good, maybe not. It makes me aware of things, careful...smart? good? On another note, it makes me stuck. Whether its literally pausing activity because "I shouldn't" or "I can't" or whether its just being stuck in this mode of thinking and analyzing, without progress in sight, this is what today's quote makes me think of. Perhaps it's these things - suffering, error, risk, giving and losing - that I'm weary of opening up to.
But living is the only way to not succumb to death, right?
I feel like I should read more Anais Nin. (summer plan)