January 29

Quote of the Day

If the only place I could see you was in my dreams,

I'd sleep forever.

Unknown

I don't quite endorse this quote, as I'm a strong advocate for couples having a life outside of their relationship as well. However, thinking of last year, when around this time we had just been separated by thousands of miles (I in Europe, he on the West Coast), the idea of being close to the one you love while you sleep is pretty damn amazing. For a while we used to end calls with "Meet you in my dreams" instead of "Bye", and, while it's extremely cheesy, it was our thing. It was a way to say that in our hearts and minds we're not as far apart as the world was wanting to make us believe.

And right now, waiting for him to come on Thursday, our 4 year anniversary, and with it being 3:08am, reading this quote in last year's calendar is very fitting.

So with thoughts about the importance of enjoying the time, glimpses and moments you have with the one(s) you love - in whatever shape and form they may come -, I'm heading to bed to meet him in my dreams. <3

January 28

Quote of the Day

The simple lack of her is more to me than others' presence.

Edward Thomas

This is one of my favorites. All year.

Just read it again. With thought.

January 27

Quote of the Day

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.

Jane Wagner

The first thing I think of, when I read this quote is deadlines. But it would seem that deadlines seem to disprove more than strengthen this thought. From my own procrastinator point of view, it seems that those who are in touch with the reality of how long it takes to write a good paper, research proposal, or speech, go over it and do final touches, of how much better of an investment of your time it is to work early, little by little, and if the allnighter is a must, pull one off just tweaking and polishing the already pretty much ready work, are much less stressed than those who forget to think about this, until the deadline is in less than 24hours, and then go nuts. But then again, maybe most procrastinators don't stress about being procrastinators like I tend to do, so stress levels don't rise until the very end. Who knows.

But deadlines and papers are boring. As boring of a topic as it gets, pretty much.

So what else could reality and stressing over it be touching on?

Lunatics, who have no care in the world?

I could discuss this topic at length, but will not go there at this time of night.

Furthermore, what does a quote like this promote?

Dreamers. "Dream big." "Don't let boundaries stop you." "The sky is the limit."

Aren't all these basically saying the same thing? Don't let people's and society's limitations stop you from going after your dreams, from believing in yourself, from pushing harder and thinking positive. But is this always good?

Maybe it's the half-empty cup in me talking, but I tend to appreciate people who don't live with their head in the clouds. Who work hard and aim high, but know their limits, know that ordinary doesn't equal weak or bad, know when to stop, and know when to ask for advice. Most of all, people who keep in touch with the way things are, and act accordingly. If your relationship isn't going well, address it, believe it, tackle it head on when you notice, not once it's unavoidable and probably gone too far and for too long. If you're not winning the lottery however much money you put in it, maybe find something more constructive to invest in and put your hopes in. I'm sure there's more in you than the ability to dream of a jackpot and scratch tickets. If you're beginning to doubt the way things have always been, the way things have been taught to you, and the way you've set up and planned your life and future, don't be afraid, question, ask, discuss, do research, work hard, CHANGE. It's not as scary or as stressful than you think.

And when did being honest with yourself become stressful and negative?

One day.

I look forward to the days fifty, sixty, and seventy years from now, when I will sit around with my husband, with our children and grandchildren, maybe even great-grandchildren, and we'll talk about our love. They'll ask us questions about our long marriage and the time when our relationship started. Then we'll talk about how it's been hard work, at times almost too hard. We'll talk about it was our friendship more than our romance that got us through a lot, but it was our love that made it all ever much more worth it. We'll tell the next generations of how back in the days of email and Skype we still made the long distance work for so long, and how it was difficult and frustrating at times, but how our love grew.

We'll tell them of how we changed each other, but still left each other room to be our very selves in the relationship. We learned to love things because of one another and we learned patience. Or I learned patience, he already had it. We learned understanding, communication, sharing on a completely different level, and pride. Pride in what we have, pride in each other and pride in who I am when I'm with him, whether physically around him at the moment or thousands of miles apart. We'll speak of our love, describe emotions, thoughts, experiences, and they'll love what we had, and they'll love us and we'll love them - and each other.

One Day.

January 26

Quote of the Day

We loved with a love that was more than love.

Edgar Allan Poe

I am failing in this task with not even ten days in!

But determination is key, so here we go. Two quotes in one post.

January 24

Quote of the Day

I believe that every person is born with talent.

Maya Angelou

Let me say this about Monday's quote: this is something that pushes me deeper into my chosen field of dealing with offenders of the law. I truly believe Mrs. Angelou's words, and it is because of this belief in everyone's talent, everyone's ability, that I look forward to working hard with prisoners in order to make their time in prison more bearable and most of all more productive and worthwhile both from a societal and human being perspective.

Moving on.

January 25

Quote of the Day

Words have no power to impress the mind

without the exquisite horror of their reality.

Edgar Allan Poe

Amazing. And it drives to the core of psychology and all that we can and cannot do with it.

And that's really all I can say about it.

January 23

Quote of the Day

Bitterness is like cancer.

It eats upon the host.

But anger is like fire.

It burns it all clean.

Maya Angelou

I feel like this quote is about honesty. Honesty with yourself and with those around, openly and emotionally. Bitterness, to me, is an emotion that grows from anger, sadness or disappointment, when they go unexpressed. It is the end result of holding back, for whatever reason; not expressing, but not getting over.

Anger is honest. It can be brutal. It can be unnecessary and unfair. It can be wrong. But it is honest. And you express it. Maybe it is the psychologist in me talking, but one way or another, your anger shows.

All this being said, in short, I'm trying to say that you should allow yourself to be angry. When you're angry, face it, don't worry and be ashamed, but be honest about it and deal with it. Others will deal. Much better than you think, actually. And you'll be better off.

In other news, I found the first ever leather couch i could love. In my home. Oh how the turn tables...

January 22

Quote of the Day

I have discovered in life

that there are ways of getting almost anywhere you want to go,

if you really want to go.

Langston Hughes

What makes me love this quote even more than its belief in will power and hard work is the "almost" in there.

January 21

Quote of the Day

Hold fast to your dreams,

for without them life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.

Langston Hughes

I am a dreamer.

To the extent where sometimes I refuse to concentrate on reality and just keep dreaming of what can be and what will be and what I'll make happen. For these dreams I luckily have my best friend, on whom I can always rely for being my dreaming companion. We have amazing plans for our future together as old cafe/flowershop/designstore/bookstore owners. Amazing.

However, my 2012 resolution, if you can call it that, is to consciously pay attention to my current life and to everything that makes it amazing. This doesn't make the above dreams desolate, just shift priorities. A few times I've stopped on my hurried way to the subway to head back home after the hundredth long day and just stood still. Stood still and looked at the view across Columbus Circle, the City lights, the Park beyond, and the people. And instantly my day was better. In those two seconds that I took the time to look at what I had right then and there, instead of rushing to my plans for the night, for the food I was going to eat before turning to the rest of the day's chores, for the places where my stress-producing masters degree was going to get me (one day), I found the solace that I so often long for in the midst of crazy busy days, weeks, and months, that just blend into that one long rat race that everyone talks of.

But going back to the quote - I think I got a little sidetracked - "Hold fast to your dreams, for without them" ...what would be the point? These dreams could mean anything from completing a marathon or learning to love yourself to having a family or a job that satisfies you. For me, though, the key dreams have been educating myself in my long-ago-chosen field of crime studies and traveling. The red thread weaving through life has been education, toward which and for which I've worked...and worked...and worked. With the dream career and knowledge keeping me on my path and keeping me sane. Traveling, on the other hand is the short term cure for life getting mundane, tough or meaningless. It's a dream that works through smaller goals. It's a break I can take amidst school.

Whatever these dreams may be, they are what make us. We dream of different things as an expression of ourselves, as a way to look forward, to challenge ourselves, and believe in our abilities to reach higher, wider, or to a completely new direction.

At their best, dreams allow our lives to soar above plains, mountains, and seas, but even birds need a land to take off from, and this is what living in current day reality provides for our dreams.

January 20

Quote of the Day

Love me and the world is mine.

Ernest A. Ball

It is interesting to look at the quotes I chose a year ago.

Rewind 365 days, and you would find us on a break from our relationship. Not really - clearly, if Im choosing quotes like this - but trying to work things out, clarify feelings, thoughts, troubles, through taking some distance. Regardless of how hard last year with everything in it was, taking the time to reconsider, putting in the effort to listen to one another and oneself, and most of all having the courage to be honest with ourselves and each other was the best thing we could have done. In the midst of all the uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring to us as a couple, or as individuals for that matter, I would've never imagined us to be doing so well in only some months.

Not that we're out in the clear right now. There is much to work on, many issues to face head on, and much that needs patience from both our sides, but what we maybe took with us from last year is exactly the message of the above quote. Not only is the world mine if you love me because you are my world, but more importantly, when I know you love me (regardless, no matter what, come what may), I can face my demons. I stand stronger when you trust in me, when you support me, and when you let me be me and love me for who I am.

Love me, and the world of my dreams is mine. Because when you love me, I love me more, and a woman who appreciates herself and has faith in her abilities is unshakeable.

January 19

Quote of the Day

In true love the smallest distance is too great and the greatest distance can be bridged.

Hans Nouwens

I come from long-distance parents, and am myself in a long-distance relationship. Well, not so long anymore, now that we share the same continent for a change.

With these long distances comes the considering of time and place in terms of a successful relationship. Considering the importance of seeing each other, hearing each other, touching each other. My mother reminds me every now and then of how they only relied on letters - good old fashioned mail - when in separate countries with my dad, and how this deepened their relationship, and how things are so different in today's world of emails, Facebook, texts, free nationwide calling, not to mention Skype and face-time chats. Yet, nothing replaces the touch of your loved one. Their smell and skin under your palms and close to your face.

I think this is exactly what it means to feel that the smallest distance is too great. The minute you are not one in the physical sense of those words, you feel like something is missing. It doesn't have to lead to tears or heartache or being unable to face the day and even enjoy everyday life. It just means that things aren't as good as they could be.

But, as mr. Nouwens points out, with true love comes the ability to overcome the distance. To still experience closeness regardless of geographical distances. I've experienced this, for example, with my best friend, with whom we see each other a few times a year, and keep in touch almost as rarely..but once we're together, its like nothing changed. Or things did change, but they didn't change us, the relationship we have and the love we have for each other.

True love overcomes even the greatest distance. And most often this is not one that can be measured in kilometers or miles. The greatest distance occurs after a fight. After you said something that hurt the one you love more than you ever intended. After what you said can never be taken back. But with true love it doesn't need to be taken back. With true love even the hurtful, push-you-away words and frustrations can be overcome, because we're all human, and it is this humanness that we love about each other. I don't love you as an incarnation of perfection; I love you for your imperfections, for the little things I can pick on, for the little things that assure me that you, also, can love me even when I would be embarrassed in front of the rest of the world. With you I can be myself in all that I am.

And this is what makes the distances irrelevant.